LETTERS FROM LOVE — With Special Guest Rob Bell!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALS!

Happy Sunday, Lovelets — and welcome home!

Years ago, I was in a yoga class and the teacher said, “If you are always imagining your body as being different in the future, then you will always be imagining your body as being different in the future.”

In other words, you will never be present in the body that you have right now — in the only body that you will ever be certain to have, in the life you are living. The one that is happening now.

And now.

And now.

And now.

Our special guest this week, my actual biological human brother Rob Bell (not my ACTUAL biological human brother, but he also sort of IS) brings us a message from Love about learning how to be present to the life that you are in right now, rather than constantly planning and scheming and striving for a better or different future.

Given that every spiritual tradition in the world teaches us to stay in the moment if we want to know our own divinity, what, then, are we supposed to do with all our goals? Is it even healthy to think about the future at all? Should we keep our goals? Should we discard them? Do they matter?

Were you waiting for an answer from me? I hope not, because I don’t know! But guess who does know, dear ones. Love will know what is right for you. All you have to do is ask, right now.

Or now.

Or now . . .

I love you with all my heart, and I can’t wait to read your letters this week!

Love, 

Your Lizzy

Dear Love, what would you have me know today about my life’s goals?

Oh child, we don’t mean to laugh when we hear this question, but we also cannot help but laugh. Because there is still a part of you who believes (because she was taught to believe this) that she can make things happen. Lol. That indeed she MUST make things happen — lol-er! That she must bend reality to her will. That she is a manifester. That if she can dream it, she can be it, yes, yes, yes, all of that . . .

And we know that it’s extremely tempting to believe this about yourself: that you hold within you the power of manifestation, the power to make your goals come true — because you have indeed created so many things in the world, including the forum in which we are now sharing and writing these words.

But.

Yes, there is a BUT, and I feel you on the edge of your seat ready to find out what that BUT is — because what could it be? What could it be?

It is very simply this, precious tiny carrot seed: It isn’t up to you.

It really isn’t, honey.

It isn’t up to you which of your goals come true, and which do not. And you know this is true because if you will cast your mind back over the last, say, 50 years of your life, you will see that every bit as many of your goals and aspirations were not manifested, as were.

Sweetheart, you would not have as many ex-husbands and ex-partners and ex-lovers as you have, if every single one of your goals had been reached according to your will. You could not have spent so many years in therapy, talking about how upset you are about the way things turned out, if you were in charge of orchestrating the way things turn out. Would all your interpersonal and family dynamics be exactly what they are now, in reality, if having your goals come true were entirely up to you? How many languages would you be fluent in by now, if you had been able to realize all your goals? What sort of shape would your body be in, if your goals always came to fruition? Who would still be alive now, if it were up to you — if your past dreams of the future could have been fairy-dusted into reality?

What about that novel you finished writing last year — the one you were sure was the big one, the really good one, the one you worked on for three years, the one that was supposed to be published this year and was going to finally get you all those big-name awards and prizes and trophies? Where is it? On a shelf in your closet, in a cardboard box, still in manuscript form — not to be published any time soon. Didn’t see that one coming, did you?

You manifested that novel, alright — you created the heck out of it, but it wasn’t up to you to determine what would happen around it and about it. And it got canceled in the wildest, strangest way — and wasn’t THAT something interesting?

Do you think it’s a problem when your goals don’t turn out successfully? Do you think it’s a failure? Or can you begin to imagine that perhaps everything is happening just the way it is supposed to be happening? And sometimes that will look like you getting what you want, and sometimes it will look like you being 55 years old, almost nearly, and you still can’t speak another language fluently or run a mile under 12 minutes, and all the loves of your life — all the many loves of your life — turned out to be the loves of a few months or a few years, and here you are, here you are, here you are, here we all are.

My darling child, it is not a problem to have a goal (sure, go for it, have fun, knock yourself out!) but it’s a big problem to be attached to the outcome of your goals — or, worst of all, to tie your idea of yourself, your WORTH (your worth, heaven help you, your worth?!) to whether or not you got whatever you wanted. Why attach so much value to things that are not up to you? What a recipe for doom!

Far, far more important than getting what you want is learning how to want what you get — and that, child, is the work of the second half of your life. Not manifesting, but surrendering. Accepting. Giving over the outcome, in all areas of life.

What if you changed the word “goals” to “guesses”?  What if you just did things, tried things, created things, and each thing was a guess as to what would happen next? Good guess. Good guess!

You know how you hear comedians sometimes try out a joke on stage and say, “Is that anything?” because they honestly don’t know whether the joke lands or not?

What if you saw your existence as a giant game of “Is that anything?” — and just threw out guess after guess for what might work in the future, marveling when your guesses turn into something cool and shrugging them off when they don’t?

Whaddaya think, babe? Is that a thing?

Is that a thing?

We think so.

So. Try stuff. Roll the dice. Set goals. Put it out there. Stay in the game. Remain aware that it’s a game. See how it goes. Who knows how it will all turn out? Not us. We know it’s not up to us. And we know it’s not up to you.

All we know is that we love you.

Is that a thing?

We really think so.

Love,

LOVE

Prompt

This week, if it feels especially relevant to you, try posing this question: Dear Love, what would you have me know about accepting the present? Or you can borrow Rob Bell’s language below, and ask Dear Love, what would you have me know about letting go of It, and embracing This?