LETTERS FROM LOVE — With Special Guest Ayan'fe Rosano!

Agenda-less love

Dear Lovelets,

Welcome to another episode (is it an episode? a capsule? a molecule? a wave?) of Letters From Love — where, one day at a time, we are actively learning how to write and speak to ourselves from the Spirit of Unconditional Love (what we call SOUL around here).

Every single week it happens that I read your letters in the comments section (I read all of them!) and find someone new in there. Every week it happens that someone who has been sitting poolside for a while finally, for some reason, decides to dive into the deep end of vulnerability and share a letter with the community. I love all the letters that I read here, but those first letters shared by newcomers are so exquisitely moving in a very special way, because they have a certain tenderness, a beautiful and miraculous wobbliness — like the newborn baby goats on the farm where I grew up who, still wet from the experience of birth, struggled to get up on their legs, to be able to hold their own feathery weight for the first time in the world.

Last week, a Lovelet named Maria Engel described the experience of learning how to write herself a letter from Love as being very similar to the experience of learning to walk: “You were so overwhelmed and uncomfortable at first,” reads Maria’s letter, “because letting me in felt very strange and even scary. So glad for your baby steps. Almost like learning to walk again, maybe even skip again, like a child having a glorious day. . . Dear Angel, this is called healing. My unconditional love is here forever to heal you . . . So happy you can feel me now and accept this wonderful new adventure. How fun that you finally think you deserve me!”

Oh sweet friends, if there is anything we deserve in this world it is to hear, and to believe, a voice of unconditional love speaking reassurance and presence to our troubled minds. And how fun, indeed, to realize that we can generate that voice of love from within ourselves, and toward ourselves, in an endless loop of healing grace.

Speaking of healing grace, our special guest this week is the luminous Ayan’fe Rosano, who has devoted his life to serving and uplifting human hearts. Thank you, Ayan’fe, for having the courage to refer back to moments in your life when you did not want to be here — to moments when you wanted everything to be different, and when the pain of existence felt too unbearable to survive. And thank you, bright angel, for staying, and for showing us in this beautiful letter what it looks like to surround yourself with true, earned love.

Let’s all keep going!

Love,
Your Lizzy

Dear Love, why am I here?

Dear my wobbly little baby emu, what a brave question!

I see how your fingers trembled a bit as you typed the words “why am I here?” because it seems like a fearful question, a fear-inducing question, maybe too big a question? Or maybe you are afraid that it’s too big a question for you to dare to ask the cosmos? An audacious question — the ultimate existential question, perhaps too intense to handle? Or maybe you are afraid that a convincing answer will not arise, that there will be no answer big enough and good enough to fully justify your existence. Or maybe your little codependent heart is afraid that this is too massively and potentially triggering a question for your fellow Lovelets to sit with? That it might be overwhelming or scary for them?

First of all, honeyhead, don’t worry a bit about your fellow Lovelets, or what they can handle. Many of them are handling, or have handled, far bigger and grittier realities in their lives than anything you could ever imagine or will ever face, and all of them — every single one of them — have powerhouse hearts, and they have their own channels that open to their own voices of unconditional love. When I tell you that your Lovelets can handle anything, you may trust and believe that it is true. This crew can handle ANYTHING.

Also, my dearest child, I have no interest in generating an answer that will justify your existence. That is not the work of love. It is your ego that is trying so hard to justify your existence, not your heart. The ego is the one that is insecure, and needs to gather evidence for some courtroom trial that it is always afraid is about to happen — some courtroom trial in which you must prove that you are worthy. The ego would answer the question “Why am I here?” very differently than we would, over here at Unconditional Love, LLC. The ego would search for purpose, for a legacy, for an impact — and would bring its résumé to the proceedings, and its list of good deeds, and maybe even some letters of recommendation, to seal its case on why it deserves to be here.

Put down the files of evidence, my dear. Stop preparing your final arguments for the ladies and gentlemen of the jury, about your existence and its worth. There is no trial, sweetheart, in which you will ever be forced to justify your existence. There never will be. There is no judge. There will be no sentencing hearing. And you will never, in our eyes, in the eyes of unconditional love, be called to account for how you spent your life, and if you did enough and were worth the air you breathed.

Sit with us for a moment before we continue, and really feel that. Let that sink in. You will never be called to account for whether you were worth the air that you breathed.

Okay, tiny seed from a milkweed pod. Now that you are a little calmer and a little more reassured, ask us the question again, and remember who you are asking.

Dear Love, why am I here?

Simply put, little spark of curiosity, you are here because you wanted to be here. You are here because your spirit put itself forward, and asked to take a spin on this planet. You are here because you signed up for Earth School — because there were certain experiences that you wanted to have, experiences that were your soul’s great desire to simply KNOW, and that could not be had any other way, in any other place.

You are here because you wanted to feel what it would be like to incarnate — to take form in this exact body, in this exact moment of history, in this exact culture, in this exact family, with this exact combination of character traits (what your ego might call the good and bad parts of yourself), and to have these exact interactions with all the other incarnated souls (whom your ego might label as good and bad people).

You are here to experience the world, little one. Do you notice that we did not say, “You are here to change the world”? We find it funny that as soon as souls come to Earth and take human form and reach consciousness and look around, they instantly want to change the place.

What if we told you that trying to change the world is an exhausting enterprise that has traditionally brought mixed results (at best!) and unexpected consequences? What if we told you that trying to change yourself, or others, is a similarly exhausting endeavor, which also has mixed results and unexpected consequences? What if we told you to just relax and do what you came here to do, which is to experience life— rather than driving yourself to an early grave by trying to change life?

Also, pro tip: it is very difficult, if not impossible, to love anything that you are trying to change. And another thing you came here to experience was love. So what if you surrendered into love, into us, and let your ego’s motivations go? Maybe? A little?

Sweetheart, we will close this letter (this fun letter, for us!) by reminding you of what it felt like back in the day when you got to be around your old beloved and long-gone friend Richard from Texas. Do you remember what it felt like, when you would drive up to his house in East Austin and find him just sitting there on his porch, doing absolutely nothing but being in his day, smiling as you would arrive for a visit — with nothing particularly planned for the day, except to be in it? We would like to remind you how peaceful and fun it was to spend a day with Richard, walking around in the neighborhood and the world with someone who had no agenda for the day other than to see what arose next. How magical and soft it felt for your body and your ego, to move through time and space with someone who was a perfect combination of no ambition and lots of curiosity. Somebody who looked at the world as an open-hearted visitor. Which is what Richard was, and is also, in the end, what you are.

An open-hearted visitor.

What if we told you that you are here just to be here? Because it is objectively interesting to be here. Would that satisfy your ego? Almost certainly not — but then again, that does not concern us, because we know that nothing satisfies your ego.

But would it satisfy your heart? To simply be here, because you wanted to be here?

Yes.

Yes, dear. We promise you this. Yes, yes, yes it will and it does.

So let’s close this notebook now and sit in quietness together for a moment. Just you and your heart, and the experience of agenda-less, ambition-less, curious love.

Let’s have a beautiful day. Why not?

Prompt

Oh nothing, just posing one of the most complex existential questions to ever mystify humanity . . . This week, if you’re feeling especially inquisitive and brave, join me in getting still, writing down this question, and seeing what response comes: Dear Love, why am I here?

And as always, if it feels like this one is not for you, feel free to use the classic, tried-and-true question, the one that never fails me: Dear Love, what would you have me know today?