LETTERS FROM LOVE — With Special Guest Chrissy King!
"For everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing"
Oh, hello there! Hello Lovelets!
Welcome to another installment of the Letters From Love project, wherein we attempt, one day at a time, to reverse the damage that was done to our hearts and minds by a merciless and perfectionist culture — a culture that teaches us daily that we are flawed, sinful, worthless, broken, shameful, and only valuable for what we can contribute to our often dysfunctional family systems, and to the ravenous machine of capitalism. And how do we reverse this damage? By writing ourselves daily letters from Unconditional Love.
Put more simply: Here we are, learning how to be nice to ourselves!
Our special guest this week is the radiant Chrissy King, author of the book THE BODY LIBERATION PROJECT, which I urge you to read. This book is a true call for revolution against diet culture and the brutal, life-destroying beauty standards rooted in white supremacist traditions. It was my great pleasure to speak with Chrissy last week for the latest session of the Onward Book Club — and here’s our conversation in case you missed it!
Chrissy’s letter this week brought up the question of “worth” — and how hard she has fought for her entire life to believe that she is worthy. Many of you may relate. Love has something to say to Chrissy about the whole subject of worth — and Love had something to say to me about it, too.
What does it have to say to you? I can’t wait to find out!
Let’s keep going, dear ones. It just gets better, the deeper we fall into this practice.
Dear Love, what would you have me know today about my worth?
Respectfully, Elizabeth, I reject the word. But I do not reject the question because you could never ask me any question that I would reject. But I do reject the word “worth.” It’s a measuring word, a word that grew out of the marketplace. You can only know something’s worth in comparison to another thing — so you can see where we are already in troublesome territory here. Haven’t you spent enough of your life in that troublesome wasteland already? Comparing, measuring, valuing and devaluing, being valued and devalued? Isn’t that the premise of the entire culture in which you live, and isn’t it a culture that is killing all it touches? How much longer do you want to remain devoted to the subject of worth, when all it does is hurt and destroy?
I could tell you that your soul is infinite and beyond measure, but I know that infinitude is a difficult if not impossible concept for a human mind to grasp. So instead, let me tell you a story. Let me remind you of a story that you know and love. Someone once told you that when Dian Fossey was studying mountain gorillas in Rwanda, she hung back from the band of gorillas for a long time, hovering in their periphery, quietly making herself known, slowly earning trust. Inch by inch, she came closer to them until the day their leader, the silverback, finally approached her. With her head bowed in humility, she handed him a piece of fruit as an offering. Gently, he took the fruit from her hand. Then he dropped it to the ground. And then he took her hand. The message was clear: I don’t need anything from you. You are welcome here. I like you. No transaction is necessary. You belong.
As always, you are welcome to enter into this practice simply by asking this question, which always opens the door to the heart for me: “Dear Love, what would you have me know today?” But if you would like to go a little deeper this week, perhaps you want to ask Unconditional Love what it thinks of your “worth.” I look forward to hearing what Love has to say to you all!