LETTERS FROM LOVE — With Special Guest Mychal the Librarian!

Stay with us

Dear Lovelets,

I have a tattoo on the inside of my right arm that says STAY WITH ME — with an arrow pointing me back to my own heart. I love this tattoo because these are the words that the spirit of Unconditional Love has said to me the most often during our many years together in this letter writing practice. Actually, there are three things that Love says to me again and again and again:

STAY WITH ME

I LOVE YOU

I’M RIGHT HERE

I often tell people who are just beginning this process of learning how to write themselves letters from love that the magical trick that always seems to open the portal (for me, at least) is to simply write down the words that you have always longed to hear someone else say to you. What are those words? What do you need to hear? And I think these are the three phrases that I have always longed for:

STAY WITH ME

I LOVE YOU

I’M RIGHT HERE

I have certainly spent a lifetime trying to trick, beg, seduce, and wrangle other people into saying these words to me, but what an incredible liberation it is to realize that I can speak them to myself, through my own heart, as a balm to my often very troubled mind.

Our subject today — introduced by our beautiful, sensitive, comforting guest Mychal Threets (aka Mychal the Librarian) — is the word STAY. Mychal, in addition to being a literacy advocate and spokesperson for libraries, has always been lovingly honest online about his own mental health struggles. And many people — especially young people in distress — have reached out to him on social media about their own struggles, especially with intrusive and suicidal thoughts. Mychal is always so kind to those folks, and he often says, “I’m so glad you decided to stay.”

mychal3ts

A post shared by @mychal3ts

This week, we dare to ask the spirit of Unconditional Love about that word: Stay.

What would Love have us know about why we might want to consider staying here in this world of trouble? What has caused us in the past, when we were in pain, to stay? What makes us stay now?

I know this is a big subject, my loves — and you are not required to ask these big questions. But if you do want to ask the question, and share your answers with the rest of us, I know that this is a safe space for the truth. Your family here will love you, as always.

Onward, and let’s keep going,

Your Lizzy

Dear Love, what would you have me know today about reasons to stay?

Bluebird of my heart, soften your breathing and listen. Listen carefully, and let me be careful with your heart. But I will, as always, not be so careful that I don’t tell you the truth.

When have I ever tried to sell you on the world? When have I ever tried to build a case that life should be easy or even pleasurable? When, during your times of despair, have I ever promised you that relief is coming, that better days are around the corner, or that it’s all going to work out, that all the pain will be worth it? When have I ever promised that someone will show up who will love you perfectly, or see you or save you, or somehow make it all okay? When have I ever promised you that pain will end? When have I ever promised you anything, or assured you that you can count upon anything, except these two constant, unending promises —1) I am here, and 2) I love you?

How many times have I said those words — I am here, and/or I love you — to you over the years of our acquaintance?

I repeat it so often because these are the only assurances that I have for you.

I am here, and I love you.

And when I invite you, and I have invited it countless of thousands of times, when I invite you to STAY WITH ME — that is what I am talking about. Stay with me for that presence. Stay with me for that love.

I can promise you nothing else but presence and love, but I have a secret for you: when you understand that presence and love are the only things worth sticking around for, you will stay forever. And I mean forever. I don’t mean till the end of your earthly days. I mean forever.

Don’t get distracted by too many questions and situations, little one. You have a chewy mind, a busy mind, sometimes a troubled, radioactive and reactive mind. The world is full of seductions and distractions, gains and losses, terrors and beauties, wishes and wants . . . and there is nothing wrong with any of that. But the world is the world is the world. It is just a world doing what worlds do. It will begin, it will exist for a while with lots of spectacular and wild happenings, and then it will end. Same thing with everything, including your life. It will begin, it will exist for a while with lots of spectacular and wild and awful happenings, and then it will end. Watch it unfold in wonder, but don’t give your heart away to any of it. This is where people get lost. They keep looking for reasons and excuses to give their hearts away (and the world will give you plenty of reasons and excuses to give your heart away). It is police sirens and siren songs, both. So many emergencies, so many seductions.

Yet still I say:

Stay.

Stay with me. I’m right here. I love you.

Ironic, isn’t it, that you always close your eyes when you pray and meditate? Why is that? Why, just before writing this letter, did you sit inside on this beautiful sunny day when there is so much going on out there that could entrance and delight and distract you, and yet you choose on this perfect beautiful day to sit in silent meditation in an empty room with your eyes closed? Why do you do that? Because you know that the answer is to go into the darkness, toward it and through it, not away from it. Because it was at the bottom of the darkness that you first heard my voice saying, “I’m right here, stay with me, I love you,” and you still hear it.

Stick around for that, child. Stick around for that. Come back for that, again and again and again. Come back for that.

Love is not a “learning how to” but a “remembering that you are.”

Stay because your curiosity about that which is eternal in you is stronger than your fears about that which is not.

Stay for the love, stay for the presence.

Stay for what you already are, what you remember you are, when you close your eyes.

That’s all for now. We’ve said enough. The rest would just be words.

I love you. I’m right here. Stay with me.

Love,

LOVE

Prompt

This is a big one, friends, the biggest topic there is. Some of you may not feel very connected to this week’s theme (to which I say, heartily: hallelujah). For you, there is always this foolproof question to be posed: Dear Love, what would you have me know today?

And for those of you who find our subject all too relatable and relevant, you can ask: Dear Love, what would you have me know about reasons to stay?

If you are someone who struggles with existential anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or harmful impulses, please remember that there is a free crisis lifeline staffed by counselors, available every day of the week around the clock — simply dial 988.