LETTERS FROM LOVE: Back to Basics Edition

Writing love letters 101

Dearest Lovelets —

This week, I had the most incredible experience of Unconditional Love.

I got to meet Amma. Otherwise known as Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi. Otherwise known as “the hugging saint.”

Amma was born in 1953 in a small fishing village in Kerala, South India. From earliest childhood, she was overcome by feelings of deep compassion for human suffering, and she spontaneously began embracing people as a way of comforting them in their pain. Even as a little girl, she would hold much older people in her arms, rocking them and calling them “my child” — and so she earned the name Amma, which means “mother.” People started coming from all over the country and the world for her hugs, which were comforting to a level that felt, for many people, to be beyond human. It was as though this tiny person was channeling the spirit of divine love itself — a love that was inexhaustible and truly without conditions.

Amma’s parents tried to marry her off multiple times, but she fought them on it with all her might, knowing that she had a destiny to love the whole world and not just one man. And the world seemed to agree, because people kept arriving at her doorstep, desperate for comfort and reassurance.

Today, it is estimated that Amma has hugged over 40 million people.  She travels from place to place, loving all who show up. She sometimes stands in place for over 15 hours at a time, embracing one person after another without taking breaks to eat or drink.

And last week she came to New York City, and I went to see her — waiting in a line from 7am until noon, to get a chance to feel what it was like to be in her arms. As I have done many times with spiritual adventures, I gave myself permission to not have a huge “experience” — especially because this event took place within the mighty and soulless Jacob Javits Convention Center, which is one of the least holy-feeling places in the world.

But as soon as I came near to Amma, I started crying. It was the look she gave me over someone else’s shoulder — a look of absolute delight and recognition and reunion, as if we had been separated for a thousand lifetimes, and had finally found each other again. (In case you are wondering if she was feeling some sort of SPECIAL and EXTRA love toward me, I will only say that I saw her give this same look of joy and love and reunion to about a thousand other people that day — and each time, it was exactly as sincere and warm and beautiful.)

When she took me in her arms and tucked my head into her chest, I started sobbing. I cried just as hard as I cried the day Rayya died — and just as uncontrollably. Into my ear, she whispered “My daughter, my daughter, my daughter, my darling daughter” — as I wept and wept, without even knowing why I was weeping.

It was only later, when this brief but powerful experience was over, that I understood exactly why I had cried so hard. It’s because in that moment, I suddenly understood: Ah, this is what it will feel like when I die. I will be welcomed back home to Love, with that same expression of delight and recognition and reunion. Something infinitely tender will take me in its arms and say, “My daughter, my daughter, my daughter, my darling daughter. . .” And I will know that I am finally home.

Love is our home, my beautiful friends. Love is our only home.

And love is what we DO here, in this newsletter.

We’ve had a lot of amazing guests and wild prompts recently, but I felt an urge this week, after my experience with Amma, to keep it simple and to bring us back to basics.

For this is one question above all others that seems to open up the gates of love, in this practice that we share, and it is this:

Dear Love, what would you have me know today?

So let us all ask that simple question today, and see where it leads us.

I love you all so much — vastly, deeply, truly. More than you could ever know.

Love,

Your Lizzy

First, a hearty HELLO AND WELCOME to the newcomers! We’re glad you’re with us. Here is a refresher on the hows, whats, and whys of our letter-writing practice . . .

And below, my letter-of-the-week from Love. But first, two reminders!

When I started this practice, there was nothing to learn, because it felt entirely, strangely involuntary — I was compelled to write myself a letter in a moment of urgent emotional need. But if you have found yourself reading the guidance on how to write a letter from Love and it feels unnatural or stilted or embarrassing or unintuitive or like it’s just not happening, you are not alone and it’s okay! Try not to force it. Try not to let your brain take over. Try not to write what you think sounds good (but which might be less than authentic). You could try putting it away and trying again another time. When it happens, it happens. And when it happens, it is spectacular!

Also: if you are a paid subscriber and would like to share your own letter, simply copy and paste it into the comments underneath the week’s post. I will never stop marveling at how welcoming, supportive, and positive this community is. This is a space where we bravely share our vulnerability, and I am SO HERE FOR IT!

Dear Love, what would you have me know today?

Oh, my little spinning squirrel, thank you for asking such a wide question of me today! Because today you need me to mother you, to reassure you, to be infinitely tender with you.

You are tired today, and you slept poorly last night, and you lost your eyeglasses somewhere between yesterday and today, so you need to write this letter in 28-inch type to even be able to see it — and sometimes, sometimes, my child, that is how a day goes. You also have a book deadline, and you feel overwhelmed because your desk is covered with unopened mail and your unanswered emails seem to be reproducing like rabbits in your inbox.

You have been traveling from this place to that place; you have been visiting the people you love in hospitals where they have been suffering; and you have been trying to cheer people up and to bring people together and to hold them together.

Within all this movement, and all this goodness, all this efforting, there is an anxiety building in your belly, and that anxiety tells you to leap out of the chair and get BUSY, because there is so much to DO — rather than sitting here wasting time and listening to me, while the clock is ticking and so much is left undone.

But can you just pause for a moment, my dear little child, and really, really listen to me?

Can we go back to basics for a moment?

Can I remind you that you are loved, whether or not you are successful, efficient, productive, or organized? Can I remind you that you are loved when you neglect to respond to important business emails, and when you are afraid that you might not finish your book in time? Can I remind you that you are loved when the people in your life are happy, healthy, and peaceful — and also when they are unhappy, unwell, and stressed?

Can I dare you to believe me, about how loved you are?

The first time we ever met, all those years ago when you were in a true nightmare, a true crisis, I told you that there was nothing you could ever do to lose my love — and this fact remains true now, 20 years later, when your struggles are far less severe than they used to be, and when the most serious problem facing your life today is a missing pair of eyeglasses, not a collapsing marriage and a severe case of depression.

If I got you through those hard years, my love, I can get you through this day.

My child, my little one. Please do not try to achieve your way to serenity: I assure you that it cannot be done. Look around for evidence of this truth — nobody has ever, ever accomplished inner peace through the act of “killing it” yet, despite all their most heroic efforts.

Accomplishments do not bring a lasting sense of ease; they only bring a need for further accomplishments — and the list of things you need to get done will never end. Unless, just for a moment, you stop doing them. Unless you stop trying.

So where are serenity, peace, ease to be discovered?

My striving child: serenity, peace, and ease can only be remembered, not discovered.

So close your eyes for a moment and remember all those times over the last 20 years when I have come to you with reassurance, telling you to slow down, to rest, to drink water, to trust. Telling you that more will be revealed. Telling you that you are not the highest power in the universe. Telling you that unseen solutions might exist. Telling you to breathe. Telling you to allow. Telling you to surrender. Telling you that it will all work out, and even if it doesn’t work out, you are still loved.

This is what I would have you know today, angel-person, when you feel like the day doesn’t have enough hours in it, and that you will never, ever catch up.

I would remind you that you can return to a state of love by remembering that it exists, that I exist.

I would remind you that I was there with you at the moment of your birth, and that I will carry you through this entire experience in Earth School. I will tell you that you don’t need to win. You just need to remember.

I’m right here, little one.

I’m right here.

So let’s sit for a moment in silence and remember each other.

And I love you.

Prompt

The usual suggestion is to follow a special prompt each week unless you’d like to ask the simple, original, reliable question Dear Love, what would you have me know today?

This week, we’re doing the reverse. This week, I suggest that we all ask that basic question (unless of course you are feeling a strong need for specific guidance) — and let’s see what themes come up for us all.

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve seen lots of announcements about upcoming events. I thought I’d share here as well in case there is interest in Lovelet meet-ups. (And Georgia retreat attendees in the chat: I see you, and I am thrilled you are reaching out to one another and making plans to be together!)

9/11, NEW YORK CITY: the Onward Book Club’s first live event! Jesmyn Ward joins me at Symphony Space for a conversation about her newest novel, LET US DESCEND — info here

Oct 4-6, NORTH GEORGIA MOUNTAINS: Big Magic creativity weekend retreat — info here

Oct. 19-20, TORONTO: weekend workshop with Martha Beck on creativity and healing — info here

Nov 8-10, MEXICO CITY: a weekend workshop on audacious dreams and exploring our curiosity — info here

February 2025: SYDNEY! MELBOURNE! BRISBANE CITY! HOBART! ADELAIDE! AUCKLAND! Info here